Talking With Autistic Non-binary Storyteller Xan van Rooyen About Fluid Identities | Interview
Exploring how autism intersects with gender identity and the concept of autigender
Climber, tattoo collector, and peanut-butter connoisseur Xan van Rooyen is an autistic, non-binary storyteller from South Africa, currently living in Finland where the heavy metal is soothing and the cold, dark forests inspiring. Xan has a Master’s degree in music, and–when not teaching–enjoys conjuring strange worlds and creating quirky characters. You can find Xan’s stories in the likes of Three-Lobed Burning Eye, Daily Science Fiction, and Galaxy’s Edge among others. They have also written several novels, including YA fantasy My Name is Magic, and the adult aetherpunk novel Silver Helix. Xan is also part of the Sauútiverse, an African writer’s collective with their first anthology Mothersound out now from Android Press.
The Interview
1. Where do you fall on the queer spectrum?
Personally, I don’t love labels. I use them mostly because this helps other people relate to and understand me but many of these labels feel a little too restrictive to me, when my identity isn’t static. That said, I’m most okay with calling myself nonbinary and a bi demisexual. While I recognize there are important differences between bi, pan, and omnisexual sexualities, this is where I don’t like labels because the nuances between these identities can shift and depend on the day and most of the time all I know is that I can feel attraction to people of any or regardless of gender. I’ve also begun exploring how my autism intersects with my gender identity and the concept of autigender.
2. What do we need to understand about your story as a person?
Oh gosh, this could be an essay, lol. I suppose most importantly is that I was born and grew up in South Africa and thus I’m an immigrant now living in Finland. I’m a late-diagnosed autistic, non-binary person who teaches music part time and writes dark and quirky stories the rest of the time. I love climbing, baking, hanging out with my dog, reading (of course), playing guitar, and all things peanut butter.
3. Take us back to the day you first found out you could succeed in your career. Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? Why was that time so important?
Hm, I’m not sure I’ve reached that point yet because I’m not entirely sure what I consider success or how best to measure it. I guess I first realized my writing had merit when I received my very first acceptance for a short story to an indie anthology way back in 2009 or so. The next big revelation came when I finished my first novel and then received an offer of publication for it from an indie press. That external validation was vital to me and gave me permission to take my writing seriously, to keep pursuing this somewhat nebulous dream of becoming a published author. With every milestone I achieve, however, that concept of success seems to shift just a little further out of reach, which is great because it keeps challenging me to improve as a writer, but can also be exhausting because ‘success’ is a destination I’ll never reach.
4. What would you tell yourself at the beginning of your career vs where you are now?
Trust yourself. Believe in your stories. This industry is about money first, stories second. Don’t compromise the vision for your story to suit an editor/marketing team/publisher.
5. What do you empower others to do that they can’t do alone?
I try to empower my students every day to think critically and empathetically about the world so they can make their own decisions about how to be good people and live kind lives. In the writerly world, I try to use my privilege to uplift the voices of those who otherwise might not be heard to the best of my ability and try to help those the way others have helped me, especially when it comes to networking within this industry.
6. What do your colleagues empower you to do that you couldn’t do alone?
Networking for sure. I’m not a very social person and struggle to put myself out there, so knowing someone who knows someone who can recommend me or bridge that social gap for me has been incredibly helpful. I also struggle to self-promote and market myself so I deeply appreciate those around me who champion my books (or ideas/effort at work).
7. How have you learned to see your differences as worthiness?
Hm, interesting question. I think having been late-diagnosed as autistic and having lived over 3 decades masking and trying to force myself into a neurotypical mold, I have a lot of unlearning to do and am still on the journey toward true self-acceptance and celebrating myself. That said, I strive to be an advocate for my students – my neurodivergent and queer students – which has forced me to embrace and celebrate my own differences sometimes sooner than I might have had I not seen how important it was for others to understand their own self-worth.
8. What is a word you love?
I have to choose just one? Ah, this is painful! One of my favourites though is actually a made up word (I mean, aren’t all words?), credited to Wes Anderson to describe shimmering light: friscalating.
9. What is a word you hate?
I don’t really have any words I hate. I’m perfectly okay with moist, for example.
10. What is a sound you love?
So many! Honestly though, there is nothing better than the sound of an orchestra warming up and completing final tunings before a performance. I also love the little yips and grunts of my doggo dreaming.
11. What is a sound you hate?
I’m autistic and especially sound sensitive so this is a long, long list, but perhaps a more unusual one is that there are particular timbres and frequencies I really cannot stand that make certain music unbearable, for example, all of Daft Punk. There’s something about their production that I find physically painful to listen to. Similarly, the effects Arch Enemy uses on their guitars is also pain-inducing.
12. What book, movie, or music would you take with you to a deserted island?
Music: the discography of Crywolf; Book: Lost Souls by Poppy Z Brite; Movie: The Crow – the original 1994 version.
13. How would you like to be remembered?
As a time of day.
Honestly, I have always loved this shoegaze band Explosions in the Sky and their song ‘Remember me as a time of day’ has always felt like the perfect title for a memoir.
I’d like to be remembered as someone who was kind and who stood up against oppression albeit in my own, quieter way perhaps.
14. What’s next for you?
So many good things are coming up! I’ve got my ultra-queer Dorian Gray-inspired cyberpunk x dark academia YA novel, Second Soul, coming out in 2026 from Tiny Ghost Press. I’ve also got an adult dark fantasy novel, Born of Malice, coming out probably in 2027 from Ruadan Books, and between those two novels, I have a story and poem releasing in the new Sauúti Terrors 2-book anthology coming in 2026 from Flame Tree Press! Before all that though, I’ll be releasing the sequel to Silver Helix, called Shadow Ascension, later this year and I’m really excited about that.
15. How can we stay up to date with everything else you’re doing?
I’m on all the usual socials (still, because I refuse to stop posting about all things queer and neurodivergent on sites owned by those who’d rather see people like me erased from the world) but you can also find me on Bluesky, Mastadon, and TikTok.
The end
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